I’m pretty sure the pockets people are in cahoots with the purse people. (Or why I hate women’s clothing most of the time)
A coworker once asked me why I owned handhelds. I told him “because I own a purse, and I need to put SOMETHING else in there.” (In reality, I love shitty turn-based JRPGs, indie games, and puzzle games, and handhelds have loads of them.) Which made me think… Purses suck.
Purses seem to come in three average sizes: so small you can’t fit a wallet in them (like a clutch), big enough to hold you wallet and keys and a small dog (hobo bags, or the purse I’m currently using), and so large you can fit an unruly child in them (a coworker has several of these). And don’t get me started on women’s wallets (yeah, fuck those too). So odds are, you have a purse that you can fit an entire picnic in, and for what? I started carrying around a toolset in one of mine just because it seemed handy (and oddly enough was).
I’d rather just have pockets. I really would. But noooo. Many times, my clothing either doesn’t have pockets (or god forbid, fake pockets), or pockets that you can’t put things in for one reason or another. Sometimes the pocket is so small you can’t put more than some spare change in it. Other times the pockets are so form fitting that putting anything in them makes you look like you have a tumor. Even if you have pockets, the purse is more than likely necessary. Because form is more important than function when it comes to women’s pockets.
And don’t get me started on price. Having worked in the Forum Shops at Caesar’s Palace, I wandered into the Burberry store a few times, since I find the plaid they’re known for to be aesthetically pleasing. Tiny purse, $350. I’m sorry, that’s new video games money. That’s bill paying money. And that wasn’t even the most expensive thing. I once walked into a Hermes store, to find the cheapest clutch to be $1200. $1200. For a clutch. That I can’t put my 3DS in. All of my purses have either been given to me, or cost me less than $50. And I still tend to use just one 90% of the time because transferring all the shit you end up carrying around in your purse is a chore in and of itself. I know, yes, I probably have purses that “match my outfit better”, but I’m lazy and most of the time don’t care. I ain’t out to impress anyone with my purse matching my dress. Hell, I’m shocked I’m wearing the dress in the first place. That’s impressive enough.
I just want some pockets (and maybe also a wallet) that are appropriate to hold things that aren’t the ones on cargo pants. I don’t wanna have to carry a big sack around that can be stolen and thus have ALL my things gone with it. It also gets heavy, and can be easily forgotten. Please, pockets. Pretty please?